Being in college is just plain hard. Not even the school work just physically being here. I’m only a sophomore and it already scares the crap out of me that in three years I’ll be forced out of this college campus and off to look for a job and a place to settle down. When I think about being at school it seems like i’ll be here forever and there won’t REALLY be an end. It’s almost impossible to imagine having to start a completely new life just a few years down the road.
Looking back on declaring my major I think to myself, what in God’s name was I thinking choosing Allied Health? Chemistry? Nutrition? Science isn’t my thing and the work load is even more of a stretch for someone like me. I thought I wanted to be a doctor, but what I really want to do (at least for the time being) is nothing. Right now, I just want to be a college student, which makes it slightly difficult to plan for my future. I don’t want to go to a three hour lab testing the density of unknown metals. I’d really rather not spend my Sunday afternoons doing online homework that I may or may not complete by the 11 pm deadline. But even though we all complain about having to study and having to walk to class at 8 am, this is pretty much the easiest it gets from here on out.
What happens if we can’t instantly find a job after graduation? Or what if we get a job and it’s pretty much the polar opposite of what we even SLIGHTLY had in mind. How am I supposed to pay for my $300 phone bill every month? What about getting married or having kids? I heard that in today’s society, it costs something like $2 million dollars to raise a child from the day they’re born to the day they turn 18. With the hypothetical job I can’t find and the phone bill I can’t afford, that seems highly unattainable for me post-graduation.
These things honestly stress me out way more than my current GPA. Thinking about my future makes me just a little bit sick to my stomach. I want to live in the moment and enjoy where my life is right here, right now. Why can’t I do that without my advisor e-mailing me about internships and academic opportunities? I think that’s what we all need to do sometimes. Just take a step back, take a breath, and stop thinking so far ahead. Just be you. Right now. It’s the only way we can make this short time last as completely clueless, adderall-addicted college students just trying to get by.